How to lose 20 lbs in just 10 days!

Get pneumonia and go to the hospital. 

Don't eat for 10 days.

And,  just like that, you've lost 20 lbs!

Hello

This blog still exists. Also, Adwords still hates me.

National Signing Day Live Thread

Talk about what you want, but I'm only entertaining questions pertaining to baking and the brilliant works of Rob Reiner.

In honor of national signing day, I've started a live blog thread. Yes, I have started a live blog thread. I mean, why not? Every other blog on the internet has one. I need one too!

So, go ahead. Start threading, and you damn well better be alive while doing it!

2012

So this is the new year... Live it up because according to the Mayans we only have about 11 1/2 months to enjoy existence. I don't buy it, but there seem to be plenty that do. As someone pointed out earlier, if the Mayans were so good at predicting the future wouldn't there still be Mayans around? Anyway, I'm hoping for less traveling this new year. 2011 closed out with a lot of driving. Brian's coming into town tomorrow for the next few days. I'm pretty excited. Mostly because someone finally decided to come visit us, and also because I really enjoy hanging out with Brian. Bold predictions for 2012: 1) the world won't end 2) some talentless hack is going to make a lot of money 3) the Packers are going to win the Super Bowl 4) the NBA will fight to remain relevant Sounds like 2012 will be a lot like 2011.

I couldn't think of a Christmas related title that didn't sound overused

It's Christmas time, and our house smells fantastic.

Leftover Pumpkins

Anyone remember when our dryer broke causing us to go to Florida to do our laundry? Well, that trip also left us with two un-carved pumpkins in the month of November. Whole pumpkins are the equivalent of unused milk or an uneaten bag of chips that you were really looking forward to scarfing down, but they got lost behind the cereal boxes and pancake mix while you were putting up groceries.

Anyway, something had to be done.

GOPFL Standings

It's time to update the GOPFL standing. Saturday's debate was called on a count of football, which means that the last draft's selections were carried over into Saturday's debate. Candidates are starting to separate themselves, but interesting enough, Gingrich is gaining ground and has overtaken Herman Cain for the #2 spot behind Romney.

Here are the standings:

1. Kevin
2. Steven
3. Peggy/Drew
4. Me

November

Me (live)

Streaming live video by Ustream

As if Herman Cain wasn't awesome enough...

GOP Fantasy League Standings

Here are the updated GOPFL standings after the most recent debate:

1. Kevin/Steven (tied)
2. Peggy 
3. Me/Drew (who's lame and doesn't have twitter)

The next scheduled debate is set for Nov. 9th.

This week went by fast

I went from a hometown vacation to back to Nashville in a hurry. It was so fast that it almost doesn't feel like it happened. Almost happened so quick that I'm still waiting in anticipation to leave.

But I'm not upset.

In fact, it feels good to be back in some ways; however, there are too many things I miss until I'm home. There are also too many things I don't miss about Nashville. I guess no matter what we're back to square one.

"We're so disarming darling everything we did believe
  Is diving, diving, diving, diving off the balcony
  Tired and wired we ruin too easy
  Sleep in our clothes and wait for winter to leave"

GOP CNN Debate

Rick Santorum was omitted from the photo for obvious reasons, but is still available to be drafted

Tonight's debate in Las Vegas will kick off at 7 p.m. central. Coverage can be seen on CNN (I'm sure you could've figured that), and the draft will start whenever I feel like it.

*Here's the starting lineup:

1. Peggy (selects Herman Cain)
2. Me (selects Newt Gingrich)
3. Drew (who's lame and doesn't have Twitter was given Ron Paul)
4. Steven (selects Mitt Romney)
5. Kevin (deferred selection and received Rick Perry)

* Rick Santorum and Michele Bachmann are on the bench

GOP Fantasy League Standings

We've waited for all of the GOP polls to come out before setting the standings for the GOPFL. Some surprisingly developments have come out in terms of GOP candidates poll positions. For reference, we've decided to use the Real Clear Politics aggregate of all GOP polling services to determine the first GOPFL standings. Enjoy.

Candidates:

1. Mitt Romney
2. Herman Cain
3. Rick Perry
4. Newt Gingrich
5. Ron Paul
6. Michele Bachmann
7. Jon Huntsman
8. Rick Santorum

GOPFL Standings:

1. Kevin
2. Steven
3. Drew (who's lame and doesn't have Twitter)
4. Me
5. Peggy

As a result of the standings, tomorrow's draft order will go in ascending order (5th place picks 1st, 4th place picks 2nd, etc.)

It's almost Thursday

If you know me then you know that means nothing.

I do know a few things:

1. It's hot as hell in here
2. I'm going to die
3. It's almost Thursday

There are a few thing I don't know:

1. It's hot as hell in here
2. I'm going to die
3. It's almost Thursday

I guess we're all back to square one.

"It's terrible love and I'm walking with spiders

 It's terrible love and I'm walking in

 It's quiet company"

Oct 11th GOP Debate Starting Lineup

The first league has formed and here's the starting lineup:

1. Steven - starting Herman Cain (takes the Over for # of Q's Newt refuses to answer) 
2. Peggy - starting Ron Paul (takes the Over for Romney mentioning the words "private sector")
3. Drew - starting Rick Perry (takes the Under for # of Q's Newt refuses to answer)
4. Me - starting Newt Gingrich (takes the Under for # of Q's Santorum gets asked)
5. Kevin - starting Mitt Romney

*On the bench: Bachmann, Huntsman, and Santorum

Over/Under for each candidate:

Bachmann - # of historical reference errors (5) 
                      Height of hair-do in inches (8")
                      # of times Obama is referred to as a "one-term" president (4)


Cain - # of times says "economy is on life support"  (3)
          # of times 9-9-9 plan is mentioned (5)


Gingrich - # of questions refused to answer (3) 
                 # times he chokes the moderator (2)


Romney - mentions the words "private sector" (10)


Santorum - # of questions he gets asked (3)

*Teams can bench their starter for any of these remaining candidates, but can only do so once per debate. 

**Trades can also be made between two teams, but can also only happen once per debate.

GOP Fantasy League

Watching the GOP debates? Want to become more involved? Join/create a GOP Fantasy League!

We will be participating online via Twitter using the hashtag #GOPFL

Here are the rules:

- 5 *teams make up 1 league

- Each player will "start" one candidate for the night's debate

- No two players can "start"/"play" the same candidate at the same time

- At any time during the debate a player can "bench" a candidate for any available candidate (one that isn't in use by another player), but can only do so once per debate

- Results will be based on various polls the next day following the debate (check back on this blog where results will be announced)

Order in which players select candidates:


- The order in which players will choose candidates will be based on the results from the previous debate in which the player that finishes last chooses first, 4th place chooses 2nd, etc.

- If all participants are new then order will be chosen at random (flip a coin, rock paper scissors, or something else like that).

- If a player is new to an already existing league then that player chooses last.

- If more than one player is new to an already existing league then the newly inducted players will choose their order at random.

*Teams may constitute 1 individual or up to 3 individuals
**Check back later for GOP Fantasy Primary Election League Rules!

A Dog's Bark

I can't speak much on the subject of dogs, but I do find it fascinating that much of society's evolution can be contributed to the bark of a dog.

"We're howling forever..."

R.I.P. Steve Jobs

Al Roker

Visit msnbc.com for breaking news, world news, and news about the economy

No Good for Nobody

It's three o'clock in the morning, and our boxwoods are dying.

Maybe the rain and fertilizer will help. They were doing pretty good for a while there, but as the heat and summer continued they gradually slid downhill.

I hope they bounce back.

Fortunately, there's always that midnight hour avenue, no matter what. That street often carries the most optimism. Maybe it's because there's really nothing else left. What hope is left gets invested in a last ditch effort. All is probably true, but mostly true because it's probably easiest to go all in on the last hand.

At least that way you can say you tried, even if you didn't.


It definitely takes shots at your pride. I guess the only way it doesn't is if you rethink what you're proud of. I don't think pride is a bad thing. In fact, if we didn't take pride in anything then I doubt we'd be good at anything.

Maybe pride gets a bad rap.

Maybe it's also another way to seek sympathy. There's a chance things will turn around  because this isn't normal. An interregnal part of me is suffering. Things must and will be right.

I don't know.

Pride's not really a good excuse for anything, really. But then again, there never is a good excuse, or an excuse that's good enough. To be an excuse is a failed attempt at being.

Excuse is another harborer of false hope, anyway. The only thing you can do with false hope is more accurately schedule your disappointment.

It's three o'clock in the morning, and our boxwoods are dying.